Saturday, September 20, 2008

Tea Tree Australian Chewing Sticks

With one hundred sticks, I figured I wouldn't need to buy another pack for at least a year.

They're a lot cheaper than cigarettes, you know.

Try giving free handouts. My film class is now addicted, and the Australian Tea Tree Chewing Stick is the preferred drug of filmmakers and critics in the Lehigh Valley.

Or, as a friend of mine said, "It tastes like Meth. But I've been wrong before."

Ummmm....right. So what are these sticks, exactly?

A few things they are not:

1. Chopsticks

Yeah. No.

2. Toothpicks

They kind of are, actually. Really.

3. Dietary replacements for starving nations.

4. Large Hadron Particle Collider

No. This is what they are: Tea Tree(oil of melaleuca alternifolia) Australian Chewing Sticks, aka Birchwood impregnated with Tea Tree Oil and other natural extracts.

That is a direct quote from the package. I would never make an analogy between asexual derivatives of flora and products of sexual intercourse, now would I?

Didn't think so.

Anyway, we spent my latest Women Filmmakers class masticating.

Even my professor joined in, but not before complaining that it hindered her ability to teach with focus and concentration.

The flavor is...ohhhh Godddd....explosive. In your mouth.

And now I only have fifty left.


Anonymous said...

Am very pleased with the name change.No more worries about future employers being offended.

Love MOM

Madeline said...

You realize "other natural extracts" = crack.

Anonymous said...

Love the sticks...But if you really caved into MOM, you are doomed.

Anonymous said...

lowest price viagra viagra dosages cheapest uk supplier viagra buying viagra in uk too much viagra viagra attorney columbus free sample pack of viagra herbal viagra reviews too much viagra effects of viagra cost of viagra buying viagra online super viagra pro alternative to viagra