Wednesday, May 27, 2009


Things I have encountered in my Manhattan neighborhood this week:

An old man peeing in the street, behind a car.

A woman pointing at an oversized universal remote and asking me "what the hell is this?"

An edition of the magazine House and Country that managed to obscure with models and borders precisely the wrong three letters.

In other news, it bothers me that the words gluten and glutton are so perversely similar. 

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Lady Godiva, children at your feet

Ever wonder about something your whole life and never really bother to look it up until it looks you up first? Yeah, so Lady Godiva --whose real name was the less-than-luscious Godgifu--was actually some greedy guy's wife who rode naked on a horse because her husband joked that he'd reduce taxes on his townsmen if she did so. That's pretty kickin', but completely ruins my former conception.

Naked Women + chocolate = HIGH FIVE!

Thanks, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. Thanks a lot. Also, why did you make it so cold today. WHY, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich?!?

Sunday, May 17, 2009

High Intelligence

Don't you hate when you type a URL the length of a tapeworm and hit enter, only to learn you ended it in .coom?

Now every time I try to visit the Lower East Side Tenement Museum, I'll end up at the google help desk.

So yesterday, I saw the movie I Love You, Man and felt that Paul Rudd's character is a lot like me. This is no egotistical boast, as anyone who has seen the film can tell you. You see, his character is also accustomed to making up ridiculous words in lieu of sounding deliciously intelligent. Yesterday, for example, I was ruminating on how thick and clumsy I felt my first week of intensive dance classes two years ago. I told my mom--of course it was my mom--sleepily that I felt like a trinoceros.

Which must be nothing other than the love child of a triceratops and a rhinoceros, right? Ugh.