I'm a writer.
I hate writing.
Not all writing. Not most writing. Just essay writing. Whenever I have to write an essay, my heart rate triples (figuratively, I hope) and my stomach turns into an ice-cold slinky. The task of writing an essay is incredibly daunting for me. My thoughts, spinning round me like ill-thrown frisbees, cry "BLACK PIECE OF PAPER BLANK PIECE OF PAPER" because for the first hour or so I try to write the damn thing, that's what I'm facing. Which insinuates an even deeper state of panic. The slinky turns to rubber, and I can't swallow. After a few hours, I have an outline. Maybe. Sometimes, I get so frustrated and panicky I just start writing, but then I end up rewriting it because none of it makes sense. My biggest panic-inducer, however, is the time constraints. I can never put anything off until the last minute.
So here I am, with two reviews due on Friday (one on art, one on film), with literally hours spent on preparatory work and no evidence of any of it. And the more I have trouble writing them, the more I panic because I know, shit, I'm not going to be able to do the REST of my homework for Friday which will really, really, REALLY be bad. Because it's all for the same class (Film) and she specifically told us to have fully processed the readings.
I am now going to have a temper tantrum. Ready?
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