I am now bored, but that boredom is mixed up with frustration and that sense of dread that always comes my way on Sunday afternoons. Damn, I do have to go write that scene. But I don't, really! I can post on my blog instead!!!!!!!!
But I'll eventually have to write this frickin scene. And by eventually, I mean, like, before it's due at five tommorrow. And I sure as hell am not waiting until then.
Do you ever make lists? I have an affection for them. They come in many varieties and are often underused or limited to the everyday, muslin variety of to-do lists.
If you ever want to make a list, here are some ideas:
- List everything you despise that begins with 'a' and ends with 'a'. Like, er, agoraphobia.
- Order your friendships. Make a real popularity pyramid out of it. Then drop it discretely on the floor next to one of their rooms, and watch as your friends--disappear! MAGIC!
- List every word you know. No dictionaries, that's cheating.
- List all operas that require a contralto and a coluratura soprano. And please, only those written between 1834 and 1972.
- List the number of times you've had to clean the litterbox. Although, I guess, you could just write down one number and that would make a pretty lame list.
- List the locations (complete address) of every bathroom you've used since January, 1976.
- List, in great detail, all your dreams about Gene Wilder.
- Make a list of 100 reasons your list should never be published. Now, go find a publisher.
- 100 uses for an OATMEAL COOKIE!
- 100 reasons why I should be writing my scene, and not posting on my frickin blog.
- Oooh, ooo, one more! 100 reasons why we should develop sticky tounges. I'll give you one I thought of yesterday: one could eat Pirate's Booty and take notes at the same time without getting the paper all cheesy.
Get to it! I want these lists, all of them, by 5:00 tommorrow!