Sunday, February 7, 2010

Why I'm a Feminist--gay rights edition

Not that anyone's still reading this blog, but I thought I'd blog a bit about a question I get asked a lot. Why are you a feminist?

It appears that most people think we're living in a post-feminist world. Take a look at the writings I've compiled the past few days from the internet (I know, I know, where only nice things are said and all that) and tell me if you still think that's true.

The wonderful people at The Daily What posted this hilarious satire on the gay marriage debate. Read it, and then keep scrolling for some of the...informative comments it received.

12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life-spans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

Comments:

Inpachi
God i just dont get what is so bad about renaming it to something that isnt marriage.. The fact of the matter is Marriage is a primarily RELIGIOUS THING the Legal Benifits are just a +! If your not religious why do you NEED SO BADLY to call it marriage? In my opinion gays are going through all this crap just because they can.. The same way Blacks parade around saying "were not equal" blablabal but in reality they just wanna be more than equal they wanna be higher up than any other race in the US.. And you know they kill Gays in other country's? I dare for the gays in the US to go to another country and try what they do here! I bet they wont last 2 days! Just because America is Free people try abuse it.. To further there own stupid ideals.. Then again America sucks now anyways.. SO screw it do what you want with this lifeless corpse we call a country..

I have nothing against gays i just dont like it in the ass.. So i prefer to not take it in the ass.. Its as simple as that.. And i disagree with the whole babys thing.. I think we outta start killing each other more.. Look at the global population problem.. And its all because of medical advancement..

Jamaal
After rereading inpachi's post I realized I glazed over his/her "black people" comment. Pardon me. I still wouldn't say that was racist though. He/she was pointing out a common occurence that some, if not most, African Americans want "extra unearned" equality. Cough, cough reparations, cough... Although we already all are equal, even to the point that it goes beyond being equal, some want more. I can't remember the last time a White American Scholarship fund award was given to a white high school student. I also can't recall what Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton are doing to help the N.A.A.W.P..
You know the national association for the advancement of white people. Of course that would be racist, an organization to help out white people. For an eye opener from a smart black man on what I'm getting at, try Googling Bill Cosby:We Cannot Blame the White People any Longer.

I believe inpachi was on to something he/she just didn't express it properly. White people in the U.S., especially white males, are demonized these days too much.

EDITOR'S NOTE: You read that right. White males are demonized way too much. Poor white men, all those privileges must be exhausting!

(After a woman's insightful comment about how beastiality does not equal gay sex)

Don't be so smug, bitch. Judging by your overbearing attitude here you don't have long with him [Ed: she mentioned her husband]. If he hasn't figured it out by now, he will soon. You will soon become one of the divorce statistics all the fag lovers in here whine about.

I pointed out that he felt threatened, and the woman said,

I agree with Kat--you're clearly threatened by the idea of an intelligent woman, much less a straight woman who sides with the queers you smear, so you resort to silly little ad hominem attacks in order to bolster your precious ego.

He replied--
Again....Don't flatter yourself. You yourself saying: "The idea of an intelligent woman" = pretentious bitch. An extensive vocabulary doesn't equate intelligence. That's only a piece of the puzzle. Your (principle of what's right or wrong)puzzle pieces are clearly lacking. You are so outwardly liberal that it's clear who you voted for last year. Nice intelligent vote for that guy. Your kind are what's running this Country into the dirt. Of course by dirt I mean a no respect, immoral, unruly, pile of steaming shit.

Battle of wits? Is that what you call defending the actions of people who succumb to their lusts of immoral behavior?

I said--

Lust of immoral behavior? What you've posted clearly displays YOUR lust for immoral behavior--attacking the RIGHTS of a group of people who deserve to have them. If anyone should be prevented from getting married, it's people like you, with your fucking pretentious morality bullshit. If you've read the constitution--hell, if you've taken a history class--you should know that this country was founded on freedom.

Freedom to say whatever you want, and to do whatever you want, as long as it doesn't harm others. That's kinda what the first amendment is about. Christianity is not our national religion. We don't have a national moral code separate from the law.

It's conservatives like you who are running this country into the ground--I bet you're one of those tea party idiots. Well, if you really want this country to live up to the freedom it supposedly stands for, don't force YOUR morals on the rest of us. INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS. Mean anything? Gay people are not harming you. Any self-respecting queer wouldn't come near you, you sack of shit.

Waiting for him to reply. Funny, I have yet to hear any COMPELLING evidence as to why gay marriage shouldn't be allowed.

For the whole list, and comments, click here.

Be sure to look for the guy who stole my username and is posing as me to talk about chicken sex.

4 comments:

Jordan said...

I still read this blog!

Don't worry, there AREN'T any compelling reasons why gay marriage should be illegal. That's why it will be legal very, very soon! Isn't that exciting?

Jesurgislac said...

I never did read this blog (sorry).

I posted this list on my blog ages ago, and it still gets comments.

What warms the cockles of my heart is that almost all the comments are negative - from people who don't get that it's satire, and think that the list is serious.

I haven't had a positive comment on the list yet, aside from the very few people who get linked to the list, read it and the comments, and are horrified that so many idiots are flaming me for satire.

But each flame from each stoopid eejit who is not a homophobe is a warm little buzz about my cold heart.

Anonymous said...

Hey
Companies House Webcheck
Webcheck Companies House
Company House Webcheck
Companies House Webcheck Service

[url=http://perosnalbinking.v3host.be/companies-house-webcheck.html]company house webcheck[/url]

Ric D said...

Amen. Right on. At any rate, my thought is that "marriage" is only a vehicle for insecure people who have a psychological need for an element in their lives that would presumably give them "security" in their relationship. But given the present state of affairs, only a truthful and honest and veritably long lasting relationship will give any security to them. Any other machinations, we can clearly see, will not necessarily work, even for a few years, or even 55 hours! So, why even such a desperate need for a social acknowlegement of a tradition which is in fact pretty meaningless any more??!!