So what makes a brothel a brothel?
My sleepless nights are fraught with such semantic dilemmas.
I reason that a brothel could be defined as a building where women are paid to have sex with men.
Or perhaps it's like pornography: I can't define it, but I know it when I see it.
Or perhaps it's none of the above.
According to Pennsylvania law, a brothel must
a) house more than four women
b) contain a kitchen.
This is apparently why sorority houses on my campus don't have kitchens and are required to keep records of all male guests.
So that's what makes a brothel a brothel. A kitchen.
See, if I were the police, I wouldn't be worrying so much about kitchens. I'd be checking out the houses with six straight men and two straight women, all unrelated. Kitchen optional.
But since this is not considered a brothel, and because it's allowed in the college dormitory system, I am happy to announce that this is exactly who I'll be living with next year.
P.S. We're all straight, but don't worry--we have strictly platonic relationships.