And as much as I really want to stop writing right now, and possibly as much as you want me to stop writing right now, I really must continue or give in to that mountain of poisonous lasagna that some call homework.
Oh, yeah, I'd like to thank Anthony for his delightfully serious guest blog. THE REST OF YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED!!! Especially you,
Kim, as I have reason to believe you have not read my blog in weeks. And if that is indeed the case, that last sentence was pointless, but, you know...
PEOPLE! GUEST BLOG! Maybe if you guys write enough shit I won't have to try to be funny ever again.
Um.
So I can have a more diverse selection of writings for people's browsing pleasure. Especially in this voluptuous digital age.
Yes, voluptuous. Thought it was a stupid adjective last time, too, didn't you?
Here's a list of things on my desk (I'm really getting desperate, can you tell?):
- Shampoo (Did you know shampoo comes from the Hindi fasdfpoje;loikhjfoijuramampanaluke? Not really, but it comes from the Hindi something or other.
- Conditioner!!! (one bottle, from the English 'to condition'.)
- A book called Brooklyn.
- A notebook for class
- twelve folders, of different colors and featuring different kittens.
- A protein drink (in a glass, not just in lake form on my desk)
- A box of contact stuff
- A hairbrush
- A cellphone (turned off, so I can isolate myself in the hopes of getting stuff done. Pretty unlikely, seeing as I spent the last two hours taking a nap and am likely to spend the next two...collecting tea strainers.
- a hair dryer
- a picture of Monet.
- A picture of my eldest cat. (try to guess where I already mentioned this!)
- post-its, upside down.
- Toothpaste
- ipod charger
- Ricola wrapper, empty (like my heart)
- Shampoo bottle #2, full (like my stomach)
- printer
- Bulletin board
- Tissue box devoid of tissues, now used as temporary housing for dirty dishes.
- Lavender pillow.
I saw The Little Mermaid with Anthony and Lauren last night. I haven't seen it since I was about 8, but I still think it strange that I managed to forget the scene where Ursula like, turns into a giant bobo doll and makes the waves move with her giant trident.
Heh. More on that later.
P.S. spell check tried to make me change bobo to boob. Wouldn't be the wrong choice, really, considering the context.
P.P.S. Please comment with a list of whatever's on YOUR desk.
3 comments:
For the purposes of this list, I am only going to list things that are on the actual desk part of the desk, not above it on the shelf.
1) My laptop (obviously)
2) My desk calendar
3) Doing Philosophy by Theodore Schick
4) Four copies of The Economist
5) Holy War by Karen Armstrong
6) The Koran
7) Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips
8) A lamp
9) My glasses case
10) A pair of black leather gloves
11) My glasses
12) A Devon Preparatory School coffee mug
13) A Coke Zero can, empty
14) My glasses
15) A small tub of Q-Tips
16) A humidor
17) A jar of caramels
18) A pencil sharpener
19) A stapler
20) A pencil box, with pencils and pens
21) My Mozart coffee cup, with blueberry tea, full
22) A pair of earbud headphones
23) A small jewelry box for my class ring and pentacle necklace
24) A box of assorted desk items, such as post-its, tape, paperclips, etc.
25) A paperweight with the following quote: "Be the change you wish to see in the world."
And that's it.
On my desk (at work):
(1) my truly awesome Dell laptop plugged into its docking station and two, count them two flat-panel monitors, side by side, and some pretty nice Altec-Lansing speakers
(2) coffee cup, presently 1/3 full
(3) my palm pilot sitting in its charger/cradle
(4) "Fundamentals of Decision Making and Priority Theory" by Thomas L. Saaty
(5) "CSS: The Missing Manual" by David Sawyer McFarland (dude needs two last names, what's he compensating for?)
(6) "Making Hard Decisions" (could be a pr0n title) by Robert T. Clemen and Terrence Reilly
(7) phone
(8) pencil holder with about 40 pens, pencils, highlighters in it. And a clock on the front, the battery for which has been dead for about 1.5 years.
(9) really nice metal di-cast model of the Mach 5, with a Chim-Chim figure perched atop. The doors and hood open, the steering wheel really works (turns the front wheels), and there are two saw blades that come out the front just like the "real" Mach 5. Kickass.
(10) stapler
(11) several large stacks of paper, documents, other miscellaneous clutter that would bore you to death if I described in detail.
(12) approximately 400 yellow sticky notes that I haven't sorted through yet (my "phone book", lol)
Jeff
Oh Boy! I thought your household tip about the tissue box was fantastic. It has made such a difference in my ability to be organized in the kitchen. I mean, well it was like this. Today I went out to the supermarket, all excited about how organized I was finally going to be. I bought 5 boxes of Puffs Plus because I like how the tissues have aloe in them for my sensitive nose. When I got home I immediately emptied the contents of the boxes into the trash. Maybe you could send me some recycling tips as well. I placed the empty boxes around on my kitchen counters and Voila! I now have a convenient place for all my dirty dishes. It's great! No more dirty dishes in the sink for me. Thanks for bringing peace and tranquility to my life. My husband loves it.
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